this week…

*Listening to:  I’m Not Ashamed” by Hillsong*

This week, I think, will prove to be quite a busy one.

I leave for Memphis on Monday…

And I have plenty that I need to do:

1.  pack.

2.  Pay my electric and gas bills.

3.  Pack.

4.  Make my Auntie’s invitations for her 50th birthday party.

5.  PACK!  oh my goodness… do you realize how desperately I need to PACK?!

6.  Allow the Lord to make sure that all of my money is in order before I leave… and by “in order” I mean IN MY BANK ACCOUNT!

7.  Make sure that all of the rooms / banquet tickets / fees, etc. for EVERYONE that I was supposed to take care of are actually TAKEN CARE OF before I get on that plane.

8-100.  PACK!!!!!

 

IN OTHER NEWS…

I have every intention of still making it to my Bible classes tonight and Thursday evening, with no interruptions… however, tonight’s class is already looking like a no-go… so I need to pray and see should I press, or just wait until Thursday when things may have (hopefully) calmed down a bit.

 

Tonight for dinner the plan is:

Tomato, Basil, and Rosemary Chicken

Garlic Saute Spinach

Sweet Toast

Sweet Fried Apples for Dessert.

 

This post is over now, so you can feel free to get up and get a napkin to wipe the drool from your face… I know that food sounds good.

a new way to die, another sacrifice to give…

*Listening to:  “Holiness” by Sonicflood*

I wrote a couple days ago about having dinner with my godmom at the Elephant Bar…

Before I get into the life-changing conversation that we had, let me tell you a little bit about my godmom…
Her name is Rosemary, and she’s one of the sweetest women I have ever met.  She wasn’t chosen by my parents to be my godmom, and we never had one of those official ceremonies where I wear a white dress and a bonnet and she declares her commitment to take care of me in the event that parents should face an untimely demise… but rather, the Lord just sort of put the two of us together about a year or two ago, and she has been such a tremendous blessing to my life.

We talk a lot about God and the Word, and where I am in my spiritual journey, and I just know that I can trust her, and that what we say never leaves her living room, or our booth at the restaurant, or wherever we happen to be – and you don’t find that very often.

I had a conversation with one of my friends from high school once, and he was asking me if I had a person in my life that held me accountable… and I realized that, outside of ministry accountability, I didn’t have anyone that I felt comfortable sharing the details of my struggles with (other the Jesus) and that bothered me.  Eventually, the Lord showed me that Mom Rosie was that person, and that’s what she’s been to me ever since!

Mom Rosie has an incredible gift of discernment, and sometimes it’s just crazy how the Spirit of God in her just picks up on what’s going on with me… she uses it on me a lot… sometimes it drives me crazy, because I’m like, “how did she know that???“  But it works, so hey.

OK… BACK TO THE ELEPHANT BAR

So, Mom Rosie and I are sitting at the table, and she’s telling me something, and I’m telling her something, and we’re having what seems like a very generic conversation, when out of nowhere she looks at me and says,

“you haven’t completely sold out to God.”

WHAT?!?!??!

I wanted to scream right then and there!  “What do you mean?!  What more can I give?!  I gave up my whole CAREER for Him!  How DARE you!”

But I couldn’t even get mad, because I knew that she was absolutely right.

With all that I do for my church and my pastor

All my traveling, and conventions, and teaching opportunities

All my sacrifice, fasting, praying, devotion

My 6 am prayerline

My reputation for being a young-woman-doing-all-she-can-for-the-Lord…

There was a part of my heart and my mind that I was keeping for myself.  A part of me that I had not yet surrendered… and for a couple months now, I have heard the Lord speaking, and felt Him tugging at my heart-strings to let Him have that part of me…

But I didn’t want to let go…

I didn’t think I could…

It was harmless, really… just a dream… something I wanted to have…

But when she said it…

I knew I had to lay that dream… that harmless dream…. at the foot of my Savior’s cross.

I had to commit it to Him…

So I did… I gave it to Him…

this isn’t the first time I’ve told myself to give up the dream… but it is the last.

It’s the last time because now I have the right perspective.

It’s not that I don’t have the right to have the dream… to have the desire… to long for it like I did…

But, if my true desire is to live totally and fully for the Lord, then I must give my WHOLE self… desires, dreams and all… lay them at His feet… and accept the fact that I may never get them back.

I’m not sad though… I don’t know all the details of what lies ahead of me.  I’m not going to presume that, as I lay in bed each night, that I won’t feel anything about this decision… what I do know, is that I trust my King.  He gave His all for me – the least I can do, is walk worthy of His sacrifice by giving my all right back.

I have decided to follow Jesus…

and eventually… my feelings will catch up with my decision.

and let us go on to perfection…

*Listening to:  “A Closer Walk” by Fred Hammond*

I’m at work right now, but just about everything I need to do involves printing, and I can’t because the “toner-man” is here fixing our copy machine (which Meka and I tend to use as our main printer, and even though we have about 3 other printers in the office, we just like that one better because it’s big and because it took us forever to actually convince Pastor that we NEEDED one and that he should consider it an investment instead of an expense…)  but anyhoo, I need to print and I can’t, so I’m going to blog instead!

For most of my life, there has been this ISSUE that has been rather trying for me  ( I wanted to say “this year”, but the Holy Spirit is saying that it has certainly been more than just a year that I’ve had this issue… perhaps I’m just acknowledging it as a problem now…) but, as I was saying, I’m having a hard time with something.

I know that God’s Word tells us that He reigns on the just and the unjust (meaning that He blesses people who know and love Him, and He also blesses those who don’t)….

I also know that there are certain “conditional promises” of God that apply to anyone who meets the condition, whether they’re a true believer, a luke-warm/carnal Christian, or an atheist… things like the law of sowing and reaping…

And I also know that the reality of life is this:  what goes on with other people is really none of my business unless the Lord is showing me something so that I can pray for them or give them a word of encouragement.

But there are certain people in my life… I just don’t get how they get to do what they do… sometimes I look at God, and I’m like, “HELLOOO?  Do You see what I see???  Why are You giving them that?!  Shouldn’t they be wallowing in a pig pen somewhere?  You know, being sorry for their terrible behavior and awful bad habits???  Aren’t You going to DO something about this?”

But then I’m reminded of the fact that, honestly, none of us are perfect.   The truth is, I have things in my own life; thought patterns, habits, that I need to get rid of… and yet I see God’s mercy extended to ME again and again… so why am I trying to cut someone else out of the grace club?

ON THE OTHER HAND…

I still don’t think that this means that I have to condone everything that other people do.  And I’m still going to make it my business to tell people what is right…  and if they get tired of hearing my mouth and decide they’d rather not associate with me anymore, well then hey, I’ve done my job… I’ve planted the seeds, or watered them, or whatever – and I just have to trust that eventually God will give the increase.

One thing I am realizing though, in the process of understanding/accepting God’s methods of dealing with people, is that His Word applies to ME FIRST.  I am saved… I am filled with the precious Spirit of God, and He has even been so gracious to put me in the place of ministry… I have a responsibility to sanctify MYSELF, to keep under my OWN body, to go on to perfection… that’s my job – to allow the Holy Spirit to do a work in ME – to checkMY prayer life, to maintain a daily quality time of devotion, to allow MYSELF to be held accountable, to work, to press, to strive.

And really, when it’s all said and done – when I’m standing before my Savior face to face – I’m not going to want to talk about my friends down here (or my enemies, for that matter), I’m not going to want to go on about why He let certain things happen while I was journeying through this life.  All I want to hear is:

“Well done, thou GOOD and FAITHFUL SERVANT.  Enter into the joy of the Lord.”

Egg-Timer

*Listening to:  “More, More, More” by Joann Rosario*

I consider myself blessed… but I still have those empty feelings every now and then… and those are the times that I feel like the “Holy-Ghost-Egg-Timer” is going off, and it’s time for me to pray and tell God about what I am experiencing… it’s time for me to cast all of my cares on Him, and remind myself that He cares for me immensely, and doesn’t want me to suffer on top of suffering.  So yes… I am having one of those moments right now, and I am going to pray, and then come back and write about my after-Christmas plans for all of the little Sunshine Band girls at my church….

(sneak peek:  it involves tiaras, monkey cupcakes, and the first Black Disney princess ever!)

today…

*Listening to:  “King of Glory” by Third Day

and “Walk by Faith” by Jeremy Camp*

I haven’t written on this blog for a very very very long time… and to be honest, I’m not even sure WHY I haven’t been writing lately.  I know I’ve certainly had a lot to talk about… plenty of crazy events, strange mishaps, sweet surprises from God, and all sorts of interesting happenings… but I tend to get lazy sometimes, and the things that are low on the priority list are the things that get thrown off the wagon – if you know what I mean.

Instead of catching you up on the last two months of my life, why don’t I just start at yesterday, and we’ll work from there… then, when necessary, I can fill you in on what you’ve missed, k?

ok.

So yesterday was an interesting day…

I woke up early (as usual) and then went back to sleep after my prayerline was over.  Then my pastor called me at 830, to see if I had made the phone call he asked me to make at 10 the night before.  Then my mother called to tell me that she was coming over and would take me downtown if I wanted to go (which, of course, meant that I would drive and she would ride in my car).

I had been wanting to go downtown to the garment district for a few days because I really wanted to get some oversize flowers so that I could make a couple of brooches to take with me to Memphis…  I found a some  really cute ones that I will upload later so you can see.  Anyway, we were in the fabric store for what seemed like forEVER, partly because I couldn’t make a decision, partly because my mother INSISTS on chatting up everyone we come in contact with, and partly because our original sales lady left so we had to wait for the new guy to flirt with some customers that came in AFTER us before we could pay.  I said all that to say that it all took so long that my meter ran out of money and I got a ticket… from a cop on a bike.

After downtown I went to meet up with Eryn so that we could have lunch at Nijiya and get our nails done.  It was actually really fun, and quite tasty (I’m going to make a habit of taking pictures of these things and posting them)… we had these cute little petite sandwiches… some with tuna and some with ham, and then we had pork dumplings, and coffee (well, I had a vanilla cappuccino that tastes like yummy vanilla tea – because I LOATHE the taste of coffee… seriously).  Anyway, after lunch, we got our nails done – and I fussed for about 1/2 hour because Eryn’s nails are in the sample book, like, 30 times, and mine are only in there once…. tsk tsk.

Then I met up with my god-mom Rosemary at the Elephant Bar for dinner.  We had such a nice time talking, laughing… just catching up.  Then we went across the parking lot to the most ridiculous Target I have ever been to… EVER… their plus-size section was a joke.  To their credit, however, they did have a lovely supply of textured tights (which technically didn’t come in my size, but if they’re textured [like fishnets] and not the solid opaque tights, they stretch enough to fit plus size girls – *consider that a free “Fluffy Fashion Tip” *)… so the trip wasn’t a total waste.

I came home and waited for my cousin to bring her daughter over to my house so I could babysit for the night.  Jayda (that’s the daughter) spent the night with me so that I could take her to school this morning… she’s so little… she looked so cute in my big bed, all nestled between the comforter and pillows… made me want kids for a minute… lol

I cleaned my desk at work today, which was a feat in itself.

When I get off, I need to go to the post office, the educational supply store (I have a Christmas bulletin board I need to do this week), and the grocery store (I’m making cream of mushroom chicken and rice tonight).

If I think about it, I’ll blog again tomorrow…

home sweet home…

*Listening to:  “We Love You” by J Moss*

So, I know it’s been forever and a year since I last wrote anything in here… but I’ve been SUPER busy, and thus, I have much to catch up on.  But first things first.

I am so blessed and excited and blessed and happy and… BLESSED!  God is so wonderful and faithful and He keeps all of His promises even we don’t keep our own or doubt His Word, or just keep messing stuff up… He’s amazing.

I’ve been praying for a new place to live for quite a long time… about 3 years now.  I kept asking God to get me out of my situation… just… deliver me… you know what I mean?  And, for the last 3 years, the answer has been the same – “wait.”  And so I did… I won’t lie, it wasn’t always the patient waiting that the Bible talks about… as a matter of fact, for the first couple years I was kicking and screaming… begging and pleading… even angry.  But God, through this time, taught me about appreciating every blessing… about loving my family… about finding Him in EVERY situation (no matter how empty and hopeless and lonely it seems).  He taught me that, when you are faithful to Him and to His work and His plan… and if you can be content and trust Him even when it seems like the jerk-iest people have everything you want, and you’re trying your best everyday and still can’t seem to make stuff happen… if you can get through all of that… there’s a blessing on the other side (after all, that’s what THROUGH means… you get to see the other side!)

SO, very recently, the Lord blessed me to rent a house… perfect for me (and when I say perfect for ME, I mean just that… for ME… it ain’t about nobody else… this is what God did for ME!) anyway, when we got the house, it was a mess… (or, as bryanna would say, a HOT mess)… the walls were this putrid 1980′s pink, the crown molding was white and dusty, the floors were pink tile (which I kept) and dirty, the bathroom had a hole in the ground, the cabinets were falling apart, the carpet was so disgusting you got itchy just looking at it, and don’t even get me STARTED on the plumbing problems…  but the Lord is good, and always has a wonderful plan to show you who He really is and what He can do.

My church has an amazing team of guys who specialize in all the stuff that was wrong with the house, so they got busy and fixed EVERYTHING… they re-tiled the floor in the bathroom, adjusted all the plumbing, put in a new sink/cabinet and toilet, replaced EVERYTHING in the kitchen, fixed all the windows, and replaced most of the doors… but every girl knows that that is just NOT enough… we need aesthetics too!

So that’s where God, my auntie, and myself came in.  I knew the pink had to go, and I knew that there was something very special about having a house FULL of crown molding around all the doors, the ceilings and windows… so we got to work.

Here are the pictures of some of the finished product:

bathroom wall

medicine cabinet trim

bathroom door trim

trim around my bedroom windows

brown trim with gold overlay around bedroom closet

transitional overhead thingy between the living and dining rooms

workspace

mine...

also mine...

mine as well... LOL

another survey…

*Listening to:  nothing…*

I’m at my auntie’s house rite now… I thought we would have been leaving for Downey almost an hour ago, but, as usual the plans have changed, and so I’m just sort of… well… kickin’ it.

I took a brief glimpse at ABBs blog a minute ago, and found another cute survey (I love doing these things… it’s fun to look at them later on and remember how crazy/clever you were)

anyway… here we goooooo!

1. What time did you get up this morning? 5:58 the first time, and around 8:30 the second time… i was SUPPOSED to be up at 4:45….

2. How do you like your steak? medium well…. mmmmmm

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? that new movie Orphan… it was sooo crazy! and fun!

4. What is your favorite TV show? Law and Order CI… Goren and Nicols make my heart go pitty pat…. I also have a weird thing for True Jackson VP on Teen Nick… I’m 24 years old… go figure.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? somewhere cold and rainy… like seattle…

6. What did you have for breakfast? ooo, my mom is so sweet, she made me cheerios with raspberries and raisin bagels with butter, cream cheese, and orange marmalade… soooo good!

7. What’s your favorite cuisine? meh-hee-kah-no!

8. What foods do you dislike? beets, beets, liver, and beets.

9. Where is your favorite place to eat? i have 2… diana’s in gardena, and c&o’s in the marina. (hey, that rhymes!)

10. What is your favorite salad dressing? raspeberry vinagrette

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? a toyota matrix… with a little red puppy on the dashboard.

12. What are your favorite clothes? Pencil skirts are my favorite… it’s kind of vintage style but a timeless silhouette… kind of hard to come by these days too…

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? japan

14. Is the cup half empty or half full? depends… if it’s life, it’s half full… if it’s minute maid fruit punch, it’s half empty and i need a refill… immediately.

15. Where would you want to retire? somewhere quiet…

16. What is your favorite time of the day? evening, cuz it’s colder… (are we noticing a pattern here??)

17. Where were you born? Los Angeles

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? football with my dad or my brother… cuz they’re both HILARIOUS… basketball by myself, cuz it’s the only sport i understand…

19. Are you a bird watcher? we only have pigeons where i live…

20. Are you a morning person or a night person? depends on what’s going on, i suppose…

21. What did you want to be where you were little? madonna….

22. What’s your best childhood memory? eating fruit roll-ups…

23. Do you always wear your seat belt? YES!  ( i almost fell out of my mom’s VW bug when i was little… so I’m like, OCD about seatbelts… EVERBODY has to wear them or we don’t move! LoL)

24. Do you have any pet peeves? when people ask me several questions about what I’m doing…. I don’t know, it just bugs me… but prayer is helping me not to show it!

25. Favorite type of pizza? cheese, pepperoni, sausage, bellpeppers, and mushrooms… mmmmmm

26. Favorite flower? tulips and calla lillies…

27. Favorite ice cream? sherbert

28. Have you done anything spontaneous lately? at this point in my life, the only spontaneous thing that I can even think of doing is taking a nap.

29. Do you like your job? love it… everyday i love it… don’t always like it… but i DEFINITELY love it!

30. Do you like broccoli? yup!

Remember, you can join in on your blog or in the comments if you want!

changes…

*Listening to:  “You are Holy,” by Ricky Dillard*

I guess it’s been an uber long time since I’ve written… I’ve really got to do better…

What’s going on in my life right now…

1. I’m really praying for consistency in every area of my life… I need to be consistent with my 5 a.m. devotion time, consistent in taking my vitamins everyday, consistent in taking an adamant stance against sin in my own life… and tons of other stuff… but, again, the general prayer is for consistency

2.  I’m moving next door to my church… It was kind of a sudden decision, but I really believe it’s the right one.  I have to say that the last two years, living where I’ve been living, have been two of the most trying years of my life.  I appreciate them because God exposed a lot of ME to myself (if that makes any sense), and He also has helped me to really learn about compromising and giving and letting things go and appreciating the small details of life that I so often take for granted… and He has also helped me with that whole “keeping up with the Jones’” mentality.  It’s so easy to fall into that trap doing what I do for a living… you sometimes feel like what’s on the outside (i.e. what you’re wearing) is the most significant and powerful reflection of who you are on the inside… and then you get caught up in the compliments… the “oh, girl, that is so cute!” and the “oh my, don’t you look beautiful,” and the infamous “you’re gonna mess around and get a husband with that outfit on!” (as if getting a husband is paramount to the functionality of my respiratory system… grrrr)… anyway, I think I said all of that to say that I learned a lot in these past years, but I am sooo glad to finally be moving!  I went and practically bought out IKEA (yes, again, spending money I didn’t necessarily have… but that’s beside the point)…

……………………………………………………………………………

SUBJECT CHANGE… (you know I do that sometimes)

I was in a missions seminar a couple days ago, and there was a lady from a project called Prison Fellowship.  She was absolutely amazing… aside from just being crazy passionate about prison ministry, she was incredibly anointed and inspiring!  Something she said really struck me:  she said that sometimes they have to almost “persuade” prisoners to change their mindsets… kind of like how the Holy Spirit pushes us to change… She said that we can often hear the Spirit of God telling us that He wants to bless us but we have to change, we have to grow in order to receive from God.

It really hit home for me because that’s where I am now with God… He is pushing me to change… He is pushing me to grow… to mature in Him, in His Word, in my prayer and devotional life, in my character, in my decision making… He wants me to be better than I am… and I need to do like the woman said…

“when you hear the Holy Spirit saying change,  you should do just that… change.”

the way of escape…

*Listening to:  “This is Our God” by Hillsong United*

“No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide a way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.” – 1Corinthians 10:13

How do you explain yourself to God after reading something like this?  How do you stand in His presence and make excuses for your behavior?  How do you say, “it’s too hard… I’m not strong enough… I can’t help myself…”?

I don’t say that for the purpose of condemning others… I certainly don’t presume to be in the position to pass judgement… no, today I ask these questions of myself..

Today, I ask myself how can I pray the way I do, talk the way that I do, work the way that I do… and still fail.

How can I go before God’s people and attempt to teach them anything, attempt to serve… and miss the mark over and over and over again?

How do I forget this scripture?

How do I forget to look for the way of escape?

This morning, I did it again… that thing I’ve been trying to stop for what seems like my whole life.

Sometimes, when I do it, I cry.  And I ask God why does He put up with me.  I ask God what’s the point in continuing to allow me to breathe when I keep failing so miserably.  I ask Him to take me out at that moment… let me leave the earth and just spend eternity wherever He decides to put me…. which would have to be hell, because I certainly don’t deserve Heaven.

The Word talks about the importance of us hating sin.  I do hate it.  I hate my own.  But do I hate it while I’m taking part in it?  Obviously not.  I must not hate it… how could I do it if I hate it?

I asked God why won’t He just take away the very thought of it… just make me not even want to do this thing anymore… if it doesn’t cross my mind, then I won’t do it.

It was in that moment that He showed me something very interesting.  I saw an open jail cell.  It was dark… the bars on the cell were rusty… there was a small square hole in the wall near the ceiling (some kind of window I suppose) and there were bars on that too.  There were chains coming out of the walls, with shackles on them.  I saw myself standing in front of that open cell… in regular clothes… not dressed like a prisoner… and there was a man standing behind me… I know it’s a man, even though I never really see his face.  So I’m standing there, and the Lord showed me that the cell I’m looking at used to be mine… but that I was free now.  Jesus had made me free.  I hear Him say that… and then, I walk into the cell… and I sit on the floor… I pull the highest chains down, and close the cuffs around my wrists… but they won’t shut, they won’t lock, they just sit on my wrists… and then I take the chains from the floor, and place the cuffs on my ankles… and they won’t close either… I’m just sitting there… in a cell… attempting to re-imprison myself.

And God spoke to me then.

He said, “You do this all the time.  I’ve freed you, and you go back… the door won’t close, the shackles don’t stay, but you still go back… you act like a prisoner.  Why don’t you walk away and live your life… the life I’ve given you… the life of freedom.”

The point is, that is our way of escape… Jesus.  The moment we accepted Him, the chains were broken, the prison doors opened… we never had to be subject to sin and this flesh again… but we go back… we all go back… and we sit and we put these broken chains on, as if we don’t have a choice.  But we do have a choice.  Every we time we sin, it’s a result of a choice… no matter how quickly it happens or how pressured we feel, it’s still a choice.

And the enemy makes us feel like we are so overwhelmed with temptation, and that no one else understands us… no one else feels what we feel.  But the scripture tells us otherwise.  And most importantly, it reminds us that God is faithful… He never leaves us alone… and He doesn’t allow us to be tempted by anything that He has not already gracefully empowered us to overcome.  He IS the way of escape.

cousins, pastors and the poor girls that love them…

*Listening to:  “That Ain’t Nothin’” by Fred Hammond*

This morning, I was awake at 5… well, I’m not gonna lie – I was half awake at 5.  That’s my prayer/devotional time, but to be perfectly honest, I was nodding off through most of it today.

At 5:55, my alarm went off again to alert me that it was time to open up the conference line for our morning prayer.  I pulled out my women’s devotional, sat on the edge of the bed, and was preparing to start our prayer call with my usual “Alright, let’s all say ‘praise the Lord’.”  And then, right at 6 a.m., the strangest thing happened.  My Auntie knocked on the door (I spent the night at their house), and said, “your pastor wants to leave at 6:30.”

I almost peed on myself.

6:30?!?!  What FOR?  What could we possibly need to do at 6:30?!

Let me backtrack for a moment…

1.  The reason I stayed at their house the night before was so that my Auntie could take the car to run her errands. I was going to bring Pastor and my cousin to church and then she would meet them there later… this way, they would be able to just drive one car back home instead of two… my whole purpose in this matter was to be helpful.

2.  Some folks just can’t be helped.

back to the story…

So,  I did an INSANE rush job getting dressed… I was gargling and changing and washing my face at the same time, I got my hair caught in the Velcro of my travel case, I had my bed jacket on top my head for at least a minute while I struggled to get my arm through it, I almost impaled myself with my eyeliner… it was a first-class mess.

NONETHELESS I managed to get out of the house on time… it was a cool morning, and I was trying to get the temperature right in the car… making every effort to make my darling pastor as comfy as possible on the ride to pick up Peniel (that’s my cousin)…

So we picked him up, got on the freeway… and that’s when it started…

“Get in the carpool lane… do you know how to drive in the carpool lane?”

“Yes, Pastor… I drive you in that lane all the time.”

“Well why are you driving so fast?  We ain’t in no rush… the church is gonna be there when we get there…”

“Ok, fine… no problem.”

We’re getting off the freeway… and I’m trying to make a right turn.

“Seantea, can’t you see that the light is red?”

“Yes, of course I see that, but I’m making a RIGHT TURN.”

“But you’re in the second lane…”

“Peniel, shut up, you just got your license yesterday, DON’T TELL ME HOW TO DRIVE.”

So now we’re at Denny’s… I’m trying to put some half n half in my tea… and I spilled a little… now they’re both talking to me at the same time.

“What’s wrong with you?  Do you realize that you’re getting that stuff all over the place??? Do I need to pour it FOR you?  And take your silverware off the table.. you don’t know what’s on the table, and you gotta eat with those… why are you making such a mess?”

So we leave Denny’s and I’m stuck behind a slow car, so I speed up to go around it.

“What’s WRONG with you?  Why are you driving so fast, are you trying to race?  Can’t you see the police up there?  That’s why you get tickets all the time…”

*mind you, I’ve been driving for almost 10 years and have only gotten 1 ticket*

“And look at the car you’re behind now, it ain’t much safer, is it?  What’s wrong with you?”

So we finally get to the church, and I very carefully pull into my usual parking space and quietly turn off the car… then, before either of them gets a chance to say another word, I say,

“GET OUT OF MY CAR… NO, DON’T SPEAK, GET OUT… TAKE ALL YOUR STUFF… AND DON’T TOUCH MY WINDOWS… GET. OUT.OF.THE.CAR.  AND DON’T TOUCH MY DOORS EITHER… I’LL CLOSE EVERYTHING… JUST GET OUT AND DON’T TALK TO ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!”

these are the kinds of things that happen when you make it your life’s work to help people.

*disclaimer*

for the record, they both knew i was kidding, i’d never fuss or yell at pastor… i did, however, threaten my cousin with a butcher knife that i keep under my desk… why i have that knife is a whole other entry…